The attitude in good relationships

Attitude is the way a person thinks, feels, acts and behaves and largely depends on the person’s value system. It could be right or wrong. Again, right or wrong depends on who is seeing it!!

An analogy to explain the attitude in good relationships. Consider the two, winged small social insects – the common fly and the honeybee. There is a powerful lesson one could learn from this.

Both the honeybee and the common fly are 4-winged insects but their perspectives are different. The honeybee works all year round and saves food for the rainy day. They leave their hives when the weather gets warmer in search of flowers and flowers bloom during summer. Once they find a flower, they use their long tongue to suck the nectar and store it in their second stomach. The second stomach is also called as honey stomach.

The honey bee reaches the hive and passes the nectar into the mouth of another bee after chewing it for 30 minutes. The second, the third and so the nectar from flowers become honey which is stored in honey comb which act as jars and are made out of wax. The bees flap their wings over the honey comb to make the honey thicker and not watery and once this is done the bees seal the honey comb with the honey by wax for usage later.

The mindset of a honeybee is to gather nectar from flowers and make honey. The honeybee travels a long way just in search of flowers. It may travel through miles and miles of garbage, filth and excrement, its focus is only on the flowers. It doesn’t get distracted by any amount of garbage and filth. It visits every flower, small or big, doesn’t damage the flower but helps pollination in flowers inadvertently!

Every life organism is tuned to perform certain activity. Nature never repeats. Insects are attuned to their instincts. Take for example a common fly. The common fly is wired differently and totally different from a honeybee. For instance, the fly travels over a rose garden or any garden with enormous number of flowers, it doesn’t get attracted by it. Its perspective is different. It gets attracted by filth, garbage, excrement, slush and uncleanness. If one watches closely a fly doesn’t get attracted by a healthy human body; but if the body has wounds, cuts, bruises, the fly gets attracted to it and forages into it. The mindset of a fly is the opposite to that of a honeybee to forage into filth and rubbish.

The honeybee teaches us a valuable lesson. It focusses on the essence, that is nectar. It doesn’t get distracted by anything else. It teaches us a valuable lesson to improve our relationships and the quality of life. It teaches us the art of focusing on the positives and dealing suitably with the faults in each other. There will be faults in every person, everywhere. There is no shortage of things to complain about. We should be like the honeybee which concentrates only on the nectar, the essence, we should likewise focus on the goodness in each one of us and obliterating their faults. No one is perfect in all counts and no one is imperfect in all measures.

It requires no effort to see the flaws in others, fault finding is a abominable habit, the more we give in to it the more we become obsessed by it. In relationships it is important to have honest well-wishing communication, focusing on the positives and dealing graciously about the negatives in a constructive manner. We should learn to bring the positives when we deal with people. By doing so we ourselves would be bringing about best qualities from within our self to reach a higher form of ourselves.

To be like a Honeybee or like a Fly… The choice is ours…